7/25/22-11.21/


 It's really hard to be consistent all the time. Sometimes a day full of emotions doesn't let you focus. Sometimes a numb day doesn't let you explain how you didn't feel anything at all. I was gone for a while because of both. Everyday I wake up hoping it's a new beginning, but the same cycle goes on and on. Life has become like a constant river flow. Everyone is eager to know what I'm doing with my life. Some ask because they are concerned, some because they don't want me to move ahead of them and some for gossip.

 

Other than that, giving updates He told me he couldn't deal with my shit anymore, so we have decided to take a break. Let's see how it turns out. I don't want it to end. The break and I want to disappear from his abuse. The way he talks to me makes me sick to my stomach. He says things like "fuck off," "out of your fucking mind," "you don't have a fucking brain," and "you don't have a fucking brain," and I'm assuming "fuck" sums up his rage.

I want to run away, but I don't want to run away. Some days I want to stay in my home forever because they need me. On the other days, I don't want to spend even another second here because I want to travel as much as I can.

 

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